In the movie, Gone With the Wind, Rhett Butler makes the statement, “There is more money to be made in the breaking apart of a civilization than in the building of one.”
Although he was referring to his smuggling, the statement applies to marriages as well, including yours. There are people who stand to make money with the dissolution of your marriage and will push you in that direction. The breaking apart of your marriage is a boon to some people, who benefit from the destruction of your family. Although they may advertise themselves as your benefactor, they make more money the longer the issues drag on and conflicts continue.
Who are these people? Private Investigators, lawyers and courts others stand to gain financially with the break-up of your marriage and family. These professions know that their bread and butter is based on break-ups of marriages.
Some lawyers and private investigators may attempt to ‘save’ your marriage, or appear to have your best interest in mind with their suggestions. They may refer to themselves as “your advocate” or wanting your best interest. When a person is hurting, they are also vulnerable to the persuasion of such persons. When you are in a vulnerable spot, you are more vulnerable to people in positions of power.
By claiming that they are ‘saving’ you marriage or ‘protecting you’, they will want more money to either find more information out about your spouse or advance the divorce. One way to stop a divorce is to stop paying for the lawyers involved. The faster you seem to pay them, the more the divorce drags on.
Before you swallow what they tell you, about ‘protecting you’ or taking care of what is rightfully yours, there are some things to consider. The main thing is to consider is the Latin term “cui bono?” or ‘who benefits?’. Who is actually going to benefit from your heartache? Who is actually considering your best interest both short and long term as well as the impact on your children and family? Many times, the actions suggested focus on short term benefits, rather than long term impact.
The lawyers may help you legally end the marriage, but that does little to end the hurt. Once the court case is settled, they are out of your life, until you pay them again. You may obtain fast results from your lawyer, but that does not mean that the issues are resolved or that they are over. The pain of the relationship remains like a haunting memory that will not go away.
The children and extended family will face the loss of the broken marriage for many years to come. Divorce often forces children to take sides and create unnatural loyalties and alliances that devastate communication.
The painful memory of divorce is a hurt that keeps on hurting. With each holiday and special day in the family, you will be reminded of the divorce and its aftermath. Every family get together will be changed by what happens in the court room. The divorce will end the marriage, but the hurt will continue. Any unresolved issues remain unresolved.
So before you go rushing out to ‘end’ the marriage, consider how it will benefit you and who will actually benefit from the dissolution of your marriage.
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